I suppose this is meant for the married folk out there, but funny for all.
If you’re ever wondering when you should stop playing that game, here’s a nifty flowchart that should help you.
Decision Matrix
Don’t tase me, bro!
Yes, that’s right.
You know your fifteen minutes of fame have started ticking away when:
- You interrupt a Q&A session of a politician who is basically irrelevant and demand that your ridiculous questions be answered.
- The handlers have you escorted away by police, which only get you all riled up and create a bigger fuss while your buddies capture all of it on camera.
- You continue to resist and make an even bigger scene, and then, beg the officers not to use a Taser on your sorry ass. They do anyway, just to shut you up.
- Video of the event makes it all over YouTube, and is picked up by all of the major news networks. Yes, even FOX News.
- And finally, the epitome of your fame hits: A phrase you utter during all of this is captured…. on a tee shirt.
Yes, that’s right! Act now, and you too can get the “Don’t Tase Me, Bro!” shirts online.
Don’t Tase Me, Bro!
Now, imagine what would have happened to this guy if he had waited until this week and pulled this on Iranian president Amendi, Amaner, Amonalisa… whatever.
But, alas, maybe he can hook up with the “Leave Britney Alone” shemale and they put on a show together.
Still, the tee-shirt is classic!
Even better, the “dick in a box” shirt
Box Shirt
Iron Man trailer
While I admit, there’s still a halfway decent chance that the overall movie may end up sucking, this trailer is pretty cool.
Iron Man Trailer
It shows us a couple of things:
- Robert Downey Jr. is perfect as Tony Stark.
- The final Iron Man suit looks pretty cool.
- They got the “perfect” track for the trailer – and hopefully will be used in the movie.
Not familiar with Iron Man? Well, imagine taking Bruce Wayne (aka Batman), and instead of spending a lifetime of learning fighting skills, forensics, detective work, etc, and have him build a super suit to use while fighting crime. Yeah, the origin is a bit different, but you still end up with a normal guy using a high tech suit to fight the bad guys.
Course, Marvel, years ago, came up with a story line where Stark was an alcoholic and lost everything to the disease. This is why Marvel characters, as a general of thumb (with the exception of Batman) will always be better than DC characters. Marvel likes to mess with the lives of their characters.
Anyway, take a look at the trailer. It’s pretty spiffy.
Amazing Little Voice
In spite of my large music collection, I’m always on the lookout for something new. As part of this quest for new music, about once a month I check the iTunes top 100 albums just to see if there’s anything there that catches my ear.
This week, I stumbled across this little gem of an album: Sara Bareilles – Little Voice. You owe it to yourself to run, not walk, to uhm, the nearest computer and download this record from iTunes. It’s the best $7 you’ll spend this week.
She’s a singer/songwriter from California, and this is her debut record. She’s got an amazing sound. Her songwriting channels a bit of Joni Mitchell. She’s got a soulful voice that reminds me a lot of Fiona Apple and a bit of Natasha Bedingfield. Most of the songs have great hooks, and several are very radio friendly. You can listen to the single “Love Song” on her website: www.sarabmusic.com.
She’s on the verge of making it big, in my opinion. It’s a shame the record industry spends so much time on trying to manufacture new artists via shows like American Idol when there are plenty of talented people like Sara out there looking for their chance. I’d much rather see young artists like these have the opportunity to make it in the music biz over any of the Idol winners.
How big of a difference is a great singer versus a singer/songwriter? Well – let’s put it this way. Almost forty years after they broke up, the Beatles still have a major impact on musicians today. The Monkees? Not so much.
So, give her record a listen and if you like it, spread the word!
LOL! Clueless, greedy eBayer in Dallas
Oh, man, you have to watch this video…
greedy ebayer
The story is about a woman who brought along $16k in cash with the plan to buy someone’s place in line at an AT&T store, then buy every iPhone they had in stock. Why? So she could turn around and put them up on eBay, hoping to sell them for outrageous amounts.
What she doesn’t plan on is 1) Apple having plenty on hand, and 2) didn’t make any effort to find out how many the store would actually sell her.
So, the cameras follow her up to the line at 5:45 pm. She offers $800 to the kid at the front of the line who’d been there since 8 am or earlier. She gets in line, and sure enough, she’s the first one in the door. The cameras catch her smug look as she thinks her brilliant plan is about to come to fruition. Then, hilarity ensues when she learns, as everyone else already knew, that she could only buy one phone.
Sadly, they don’t show complete footage of her getting pissed off, but the reporter mentions she was clearly pissed. She was even more pissed at the guy who took her money, who already knew the limit on phones. He got to buy the phone and every accessory he could possibly want.
Kudos to this guy for getting a “free” iPhone and toys out of the deal, and for pissing off the greedy, clueless eBayer who wanted to shaft everyone.
Course, with stories floating that AT&T was forcing people to buy accessories with the iPhone, she probably would have been pissed anyway when she found out she’d have to buy cases for all those phones — depending on how much she had to bribe someone to let her buy more than one phone.
But, if you’re reading this, greedy eBayer, I’ll let you have mine for a mere $1200, with case. : )
The iPhone Experience
NOTE: If you’re in the market for an iPhone, check here to see availability in your local Apple store, or call your AT&T store. There are auctions on eBay already with phones going for $1000 or more. But, folks, until they actually run out of them in the stores, don’t go to eBay – unless you really want to pay the extra $500 or more for one.
So, yeah, after switching back and forth on whether or not I was going to get one, I went to Willow Bend and got in line for an iPhone.
For those of you who haven’t heard about the iPhone, check it out at apple.com.
“iPhone fever” has gripped the nation over the last several months, reaching fever pitch this week as the Apple marketing machine continued the buildup until June 29, which AT&T referred to as “iDay.”
The biggest question that was left unanswered until yesterday was: How many of the things would Apple have? The phones did not arrive in the country until Sunday, under armed escort. They would not show up at stores until Friday afternoon – just a few hours before they would go on sale at 6pm on June 29. Both Apple and AT&T stores could not say how many phones they would have.
In fact, one apple store employee told me that they had to turn in their cell phones as long as they were at work. They were not allowed into the back of the store to retrieve merchandise and had to radio the storeroom to bring computers out to them.
A friend of mine and I watched macrumors constantly yesterday for updates on line counts in the Dallas area. He had seen 8 people lined up at the AT&T store in Allen on the way to work. By noon, reports were coming in of at least 150-200 people in line at two of the Apple stores in the area. But, after the announcement on Thursday that the Apple store would allow people to buy two, we figured we would be safe.
So, we left work as early as we could, and ended up in line at Willow Bend at around 5:45pm – just 15 minutes before the iPhone would go on sale… along with 500 or more other people.
I had a plan B already in mind. There are at least five AT&T stores between Willow Bend and my house, and worse case, I would probably hit them all in the quest for the phone. I knew that I wanted one at this point, so now the challenge was whether or not I could buy one on “iDay.”
The line started moving pretty well. Apple was allowing 50 people at a time into the store, and they would then move in groups of 5-10 as people filtered out of the store. Fifteen minutes after the store opened, two guys walked out and walked over to the back of the line offering to sell their phones to the highest bidder. Most people laughed at them, so they took their phones out to the front of the mall to try again.
We were probably 2/3 of the way through the gauntlet within 45 minutes. But, then, an Apple store employee came running out and approached the line. “There’s a chance you may not get a phone,” he said. We opted to take our chances. It made the next 20 minutes or so more interesting as we neared the Apple entrance, hoping that they wouldn’t come back out and say they were completely sold out…
Success! Thirty minutes later, I was able to walk out of the store with my brand new iPhone! My friend was also able to get the pair he needed to buy (one for the missus, and one for him).
It turns out going to the apple store was the right call. As we left, we walked out into a downpour. The drive home took me by one of the AT&T stores, where several soaked iPhone buyers were patiently waiting outside for their chance to get a phone.
I’ll post more about the phone later. So far, it does everything as advertised. : )
There are a few quirks though, but there’s nothing that wasn’t really expected and, more importantly, nothing that couldn’t be added later though a software update.
Better keep that driver’s insurance handy…
Here’s a nifty little tidbit to know while driving in Texas. You might want keep your insurance card on you at all times and keep it current.
Back in late 2003, the legislature passed a little known law called the Driver Responsibility Program (see Chapter 708 of the Transportation Code). The idea, as presented to the voters, was that it would set up a points program. Get enough points on your license, and pay additional fees. It was also supposed to fine people who committed certain violations, such as DWI or uninsured motorists. Sounds great, right?
http://tlo2.tlc.state.tx.us/statutes/tn.toc.htm
Well, except on that one day you get pulled over and for whatever reason you left your wallet at home. You have no driver’s license and no proof of insurance. You’ve always had both, and you had never gone a day without insurance. You moved recently too, and you haven’t updated your driver’s license.
The cop, for whatever reason, decides he’s not feeling very generous today and writes you tickets for both no license and no insurance. Okay, you think, you get your stuff, take it down to the courthouse and pay a small fine once you show that you do indeed have a license and proof of insurance. No big deal.
Oh, but wait, here’s the fun part that they probably don’t tell you. Because you were given tickets for no license and no insurance, you qualify under the new law. For the next three years, the state is going to charge you additional fees for each violation: $100 for no license, and $250 for no insurance.
Oh, but I’m not an uninsured driver, you say? You’ll appeal it, right? Nope. There is nothing in the law that allows honest drivers the means to avoid paying the fines if they can provide adequate evidence that they have a valid license and/or insurance during the course of those three years.
But, wait! There’s more! Remember that you moved recently right? Well the state is required by law to provide you with written notice about these fines. You didn’t change your address yet, so you never receive the notice. Excellent! The state, seeing that you haven’t made any effort to pay the fines in 30 days, which is the law, automatically suspends your license. The suspension isn’t removed until you begin to make the payment(s) to the state. I say payments because the state has been kind enough to provide in the law a monthly payment plan.
If you’re lucky, you’ll find out about the suspension by trying to renew the license, and not by getting pulled over again. Why? Well, driving with a suspended license opens up a whole new line of opportunities for the state to nail you.
No, I didn’t get burned by this, but I know someone who has. I can understand the intent of the law, but the fact that it allows no provisions to prevent honest citizens from being nailed by the surcharges is completely asinine. The way the law appears on the book assumes everyone is a criminal.
This ties well in with the new laws being pushed for red-light cameras and speeding cameras. It provides the government more ways to treat all citizens as criminals without any type of “due process.”
Oh, no big deal, you may be thinking. It usually just consists of fines, anyway.
Really? You don’t think a local government won’t “tweak” their traffic signals to shorten the signal length in order to frustrate you to the point that you’ll want to run the red light, cameras or not? And if they get away with speeding cameras, the entire state will be like New Mexico where the speed limit is 35 everywhere.
Still not enough? Okay, how about this? At the end of this legislative session, the Texas government added tougher penalties to these laws. One strike and you’re out. Automatic three-day jail sentence. And, to top it off, the cities create task forces with the sole purpose to haul your criminal lead-footed-red-light-running-left-your-insurance-at-home ass to jail!
How do ya like them apples?
Hmm… time to relocate? lol
I just stumbled across this nifty little infographic that shows where the concentrations of single populations are…
Sadly, there appears to be a larger number of single MEN in the DFW area. That might be good news for you single ladies (or those of you playing for the other team – not that there’s anything wrong with that), but not so much for me.
Paladins… The Timex of World of Warcraft
(WARNING: This blog uses language common to the game of World of Warcraft. If you are unfamiliar with these terms, do not fear dear reader. Simply send along your email address in the comments, and we’ll be sure to get you a 10-day trial key to the game. Remember, the first month is free)
I have to admit. As much as I enjoy blasting away with a mage in World of Warcraft – being able to drop a mob before it gets close enough to lay a hand on me – there’s something equally fascinating about playing a paladin. They certainly don’t do the damage that a mage can, but then again, try killing a paladin…
Case in point. Here’s how an unusual pull with my level 60 paladin went a few days ago in one of the new 60+ zones in the Burning Crusade expansion.
I go to attack a level 59 orc. We’ll call him mob 1.
While fighting him, two of his buddies drop in. They’re on mounts, which attack as well, and all are level 60. Let’s call them mobs 2-5.
(Meh, says I)
Mob 1 dies. Mob 2 dies. I have three more to go.
Another mounted rider decides to join the party. That’s mobs 6 and 7.
(Really low on mana at this point)
Mob 3 and 4 die.
A wandering 61 guard drops in. That’s mob 8.
(Time to BOP and bandage)
Mobs 5 and 6 drop.
Two to go.
Another wandering guard wants to be part of the action. He’s mob 9.
Still going.
(Time to lay on hands)
Mobs 7 and 8 finally die.
One left.
Oh, lookee there. I’ve been here in this fight so long that Mob 1 has respawned and has come back for more. Now he’s mob 10.
A few minutes later….
Done!
10 mobs dead. 1 paladin still standing.
The only sad thing about this is that the corpse timer ran out on the very first mob, so I never got to loot the corpse.
So, let’s see how that compares with a druid…
Pull mob 1. No problemo.
Mobs 2-5 show up… Aw crap.
(heal. shift to bear form)
I could probably outlast 2-3 of the mobs.
Mobs 6-7 show up.
(gotta heal, gotta heal, gotta… DOH!!!)
Ok, how about the mage?
Pull mob 1, not a problem. Drop him before he gets to me.
Mobs 2-5 run up as mob 1 dies. Aw crap!
(Frost Nova, back up, and AOE)
Mobs 6-7 stop by before I have killed 2-5, and now I’m almost out of mana.
AW CRAP!!!
(Frost nova again)
RUN AWAY!!
Oh sure, I know what you’re thinking. A mage could, in theory, AOE all of the mobs. But, the catch to AOE is that you have to round everyone up beforehand, then unleash hell. In the paly fight, mobs were joining mid-fight, which a mage can’t handle as well.
So there you have it. Paladins. They take a licking and keep on ticking… : )
Lana Lang Must Die!!!
One of the things that I’ve been doing lately is trying to study plots of my favorite TV shows. Once you spend an hour watching a show with a very good story, like Heroes or Lost, it’s hard to go back and watch something that’s not so well thought out, like Smallville.
It occurred to me that Smallville really needs to end this season, but it also needs to end in a way that allows the mythology of Superman to continue. To do this, I think Lana Lang has to die.
Smallville, for those of you who don’t know, is a show about Clark Kent, a not-so-typical teenage boy, and about his awkward teenage years. Kent also happens to grow up to become one of the most famous characters in modern-day literature: Superman. Yeah yeah, someone will complain that “comic books” aren’t “literature,” but you can’t argue Superman’s existence in the public consciousness of our society.
Anyway, the show is currently limping its way through its sixth (and hopefully) final season. I’m not sure at what point the show “jumped the shark,” but this season, in spite of adding new and less than exciting super-heroes, has been less than thrilling to watch.
Continue reading “Lana Lang Must Die!!!”