Tag: sci-fi

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Zack Snyder’s Rebel Moon: You’ve Seen It All Before…

There’s not much to say about Zack Snyder’s Rebel Moon — Part One, so I won’t spend a lot of time on it.

If you can stand to sit through the two-ish hour runtime, which, since it’s on Netflix, you can pause for more alcohol (and boy, is alcohol required for this one), you’ll spend most of the film going “Hmm… I know I’ve seen this before somewhere…”

If you’ve watched any science fiction movies, or westerns, but specifically: Star Wars, The Magnificent Seven, The Avengers: Infinity War, Battle Beyond the Stars, Seven Samurai, Harry Potter, or even A Bug’s Life, maybe read or played some Warhammer 40K, etc, then there’s a LOT about this film that will feel familiar.

The problem though, is that Rebel Moon feels like a copy of a copy of a copy, and none of it brings anything new to the table. You’d be better off watching one of the other films instead.

At its basic level, Rebel Moon is essentially Seven Samurai/The Magnificent Seven in space, and that’s not even fully realized because Snyder wants you to wait until April 2024 to see Part 2 and watch the rest of the story.

Or, if you’re truly dedicated, wait until March and watch the R-rated extended “Snyder cut” of Part 1. There’s an interview with Snyder where he admits that Netflix “forced” him to put out a PG-13 version of the film, so he had to cut some things out, but the “complete” vision of the film is his R-rated version.

Supposedly, Rebel Moon was originally pitched as a new Star Wars script to Disney/Lucasfilm, and it was so bad that even they wouldn’t touch it. And, considering the current state of Lucasfilm and the Star Wars franchise, that’s saying a lot.

Yet, despite creating mega stinkers for movie studios, Zack Snyder has somehow cut a deal with the devil where studios/streaming services STILL continue to throw millions of dollars his way to do whatever he wants with it.

You’d think Netflix would have learned after he made that zombie stinker Army of the Dead, but, nope. They threw more money at him to make this “space franchise” that I’m sure he promised would be as big as Star Wars.

Honestly, I’m going to spoil the movie from here on out. If you are desperate to kill two and a half hours, then maybe watch Rebel Moon, but you’d get more enjoyment out of watching the 4K movie of a fireplace (yes, there really are fireplace vids on Netflix).

The movie is about a space empire that’s reigned for 1,000 generations having conquered the galaxy and have enjoyed a relatively long time of peace and prosperity. But, recently, the ruling family was assassinated, and now there’s a power vacuum. The main military leader decided to set himself up as regent, but that has not stopped some worlds from deciding maybe it’s time to strike out on their own. So, the new regent has sent his armies to the farthest edges of the realm to strike down anyone who dared to call themselves “rebels” — (roll credits)

Anyway, so out in BFE, we find a small farming community that is meant to be either Space Vikings or Space Amish. Their buildings looked like Viking buildings, and they liked using “old” tools, like horses and plows, to farm the land. They’re okay with electricity, though, so shrug

We are introduced to Kora, a “mystery girl” who has been in the community for a couple of seasons and is farming the land. There’s a big celebration that night in the main community building because two local hunters have killed a local beastie, so there’s a feast. Again, the whole community vibe is medieval/Viking/fantasy blah blah blah. We’re introduced to Gunnar, who Kora has “friend-zoned”, and just follows her around. The elderly man who took Kora in seems focused on getting Kora married off and out of his house, so she can “be part of the community.” But, Kora is a strong female character and “don’t need no man.”

The next day, the bad guys show up on a massive ship with the leader dressed in his best Space Nazi uniform. They need food for their troops. It’s not explained why a high-tech society that can build massive spaceships with “space-vagina” warp technology needs local farmers for crops, but whatever. We learn shortly before the bad guys arrived that whatever surplus the community had, Kora’s buddy Gunnar sold to the rebels. That may not go over well with the bad guys, who are looking for rebel factions, right?

But, the bad guys don’t know about any of this. They want food for the troops. But, the community leader lies about the surplus, so he’s murdered for it. Now, the bad guys are willing to wait for the next harvest, and then they’ll want most of it, leaving the community with not enough food to survive.

Oh, and for good measure, they leave a small garrison of troops behind to keep an eye on things.

The farmers decide they should just do what the soldiers want. Kora wants no part of it and decides to leave.

Before she gets a chance to leave though, the soldiers decide to get rapey with a young village girl (as soldiers do), so Kora reluctantly decides to stop them.

Kora is played by Sofia Boutella, who is 5’5″ and probably weighs less than 110 pounds. We know nothing about her background at this point, other than she’s not originally from here. We’re treated to a SLOOOOO-MOOOOOO extended fight sequence where the bad guys conveniently wait to fight her one at a time and where she easily handles 7-8 men twice her size without much effort.

SIDE NOTE: If you want to watch an action flick with a female protagonist with better fight choreography, check out Ballerina on Netflix. It’s a Korean film, and she’s probably even smaller than Boutella, but the fight sequences are much more “realistic” in that she has to struggle when fighting men twice her size. The plot’s not much better than Rebel Moon, but at least it’s entertaining.

Eventually, we learn that Kora was a soldier in the empire. The empire slaughtered everyone on her planet, including her parents, but the main military leader guy found her, spared her, and took her in (ala Thanos). She’s trained as a soldier, and because her adopted “father” is part of the elite and close to the royal family, she’s had a life of privilege. She even gets to become part of the royal guard and is assigned to protect the princess (more on her in a bit).

This is science fiction. They could have easily added something to Kora’s story to give her abilities to help explain why she’s such a capable fighter: genetic manipulation, cybernetics, something. It’s not Star Wars; this is a new Snyderverse, where he can do whatever. But, nope, she’s just a soldier with the same training as the other men.

Anyway, Kora has now put the village into a situation where they’ll have to fight the bad guys. Nobody seems to object to this one way or another, but Kora decides she’s going to fly off and try to find some people to help fight on behalf of the villagers, even though they can’t pay much (sound familiar?) She knows of a general who rebelled against the empire, and maybe he would be willing to train the villagers and lead them into battle.

They end up in the nearest spaceport town to find Gunnar’s rebel contact and arrive just in time to see him being carted off by the bad guys. So, they go into a nearby bar (a wretched hive of scum and villainy) and run into trouble. A smuggler helps them out. He conveniently has a spaceship, and he immediately decides to help fly them around the galaxy and recruit more people. If that seems suspicious, and that he might betray them if the right opportunity comes along, then — well, you’ve seen that story before, too. Even Gunnar wonders “Should we trust this guy?” but Kora’s decides “Nah, it’ll be fine.”

With that, the rest of the movie is Kora going to different locations that look completely different from one another to find recruits for the cause. It’s so stark that it feels like they’re jumping into completely different video games each time they switch locations. I can’t say much about any of the recruits because the plot is the same: a brief introduction to the location and the person, one slo-mo action sequence involving the potential recruit (while everyone else stands and watches), Kora makes a 30-second pitch, and bam, they’re in.

We go to a barren world where they encounter a Conan-wannabe. He’s enslaved by a dude, but he’s willing to part with Conan (none of these idiots are the least bit memorable so I’m not bothering to look up their names) if he breaks in his pet hippogryph (as you do in sci-fi movies). After a slo-mo sequence, he’s in the gang.

Next, we go to a quasi-futuristic-Asian-Blade-Runner-looking world where we find another fighter with swords. We get to watch her in a sloooo-mo fight with a wicked-looking spider-woman who is kidnapping local kids. There’s a brief blah blah backstory about the environment that explains why spider-lady is doing what she’s doing, but it doesn’t matter.

Oh, and sword-lady has two swords that “ignite” with plasma? that looks not entirely unlike lightsabers (but totally not lightsabers — the second it happens – you can almost hear Snyder in a voiceover saying – no these are not lightsabers). They are physical swords that ignite somehow. They’re only there for one “cool” shot that Snyder puts in, and outside of that, they’re not any different from normal swords.

Then, we get to go to Gladiator-world, where we find the general, Titus? If you’ve seen the trailers, this is probably the character everyone wants to see because he’s played by Djimon Hounsou. We’re told he’s a “badass” and a “master strategist”, even though he also rebelled against the empire and got all of the troops who joined him slaughtered. So, you expect there to be some bad-ass slo-mo gladiator fight with Titus in it, right? WRONG. He’s just the local drunk.

Mind you, as an aside, it’s funny that our smuggler guy has no trouble finding where the general is. You’d think that the empire would be looking for him (and as it turns out, they were). Why any empire, government, etc., would face off against a rebellious general, defeat him, and then decide to let him go on his merry way makes no sense. If they didn’t outright murder him, you’d think he’d be locked up in a gulag somewhere where he can’t cause any more trouble. But, nope, he’s just free to do whatever he wants.

He gets a bath and a quick revenge speech from Kora, and Generalissimo is in. Maybe he gets to do more in part 2, but he gets to do almost nothing in this part. I don’t even remember if he got some bad-ass fight sequence in the finale. He did get to make a general-y speech about how the final fight is going to be super-important.

There’s also a brother/sister duo that are the leaders of the rebels. The sister passes on helping Kora, but the brother joins up and takes some of their troops with him.

It’s all a rush to get to the big, dumb slo-mo final battle. where Kora and her new “team” are betrayed by our smuggler guy (gasp!). It’s here we probably get the most exposition about all of these characters because they’re all “most-wanted” by the empire. Conan turns out to be a prince. Which prince? is he part of the royal family? Why didn’t Kora know who he was? Or is he just a prince in some random world? It’s never explained. Sword-lady is also wanted by the empire because she’s been taking out her revenge on them for killing her family. Of course, we have the super bad-ass rebel general Titus.

Then, there’s Kora. It’s finally revealed that she’s the daughter of the new regent, and daddy wants her back. Why? The film never tells us. There’s zero explanation for why Kora left, why the empire wants her back, or how she ended up on the backwater moon. However, smuggler guy considers her to be the “most valuable prize”.

Well, she’s the most valuable person next to the princess (who’s dead — or is she?). The princess is “magical” or something. Kora reveals at one point while guarding the princess that she saw the princess’ dog kill a bird, and the princess was able to bring it back to life. She’s also important to the robots, who somehow sensed her specialness and pledged to fight for her.

Anyway, Gunnar helps them escape and hilarity ensues. There’s a big slow-mo battle that is super dumb. The rebels have some small ships, but the bad general shows up in a capital ship. It’s a big ship. The dumbest part of the fight comes when the rebel dude grabs a shaft of metal and makes for a slo-mo jump to a gunner pod. The guns are killing his troops you see. The shot looks like something directly out of 300. The rebel dude sacrifices himself to kill the gunner guy. And, as it turns out, the gunner pod also conveniently has the steering controls of the massive ship, so as he dies he knocks the steering wheel over to the right causing the big ass ship to crash and be destroyed.

No, I’m not making that up.

We see a long drawn-out fight between Kora and the main bad guy of the film (general whatever). Plenty of SLOOOOO-MOOOOOOOO action to the point that you just wish one of them would finally die.

She appears to kill the bad guy, so they all decide to go back to the village to collect their reward. There’s a magnificent seven scene where we see them all on space horseback riding to the village, but the movie’s over, right? Why did they all go back? Why not pay them something on the world they were on previously, and then everyone could go their separate ways?

Well, no, of course not, because it’s only part 1, you see. The bad general guy isn’t completely dead, just mostly dead, and they’re able to retrieve him. He has a chat with the regent in a “holodeck”? and he tells the regent guy that Kora is alive. It’s not clear if the general guy is a guy or some sort of robot or construct or whatever. And, of course, the regent dude tells the general guy to use whatever means necessary to get Kora and her allies.

Roll credits. That’s the film.

Obviously, there’s going to be a part two. We’ve seen the other movies, so you know they’re going to help build up some defenses and train the villagers to fight, etc. Oh yeah, part one also shows us a scene where the bad guys’ big-ass ship has some big-ass guns where they can effectively destroy cities from orbit. So, yeah, how the villagers are going to stand up against that might? be interesting.

The whole thing is just dumb. At least the village in the other films served a purpose. There was a reason for the bad guys to want stuff? But here, if anything, Kora has stirred things up, and by rounding up this group of characters, she’s just given the empire even more of a reason to hunt them down and put the villagers in even greater peril.

I mean, the character with the most interesting story is the robot guy. He shows up at the beginning of the film. They were intelligent robots, and they used to be soldiers for the Empire. But, after the king/queen/princess were killed, they stopped fighting. For reasons, the soldiers keep them around? Anyway, he shows up long enough to be bullied by the soldiers, hangs out with a local girl to do an exposition dump about his back story, and then helps Kora briefly in the fight with the rapey soldiers. And then… he fucks off. He’s gone for the rest of the film until the very ending where he’s in one of the last shots standing in a field carrying a staff and wearing “antlers”.

I can’t blame any of the actors for being in this. I can’t argue whether Boutella has the presence to be a lead because there’s so little for her to work with. I don’t know if anyone else would have better luck. Then again, she has an acting range of two facial expressions.

Kora is another “strong female character”/Mary Sue, and I don’t know if that was Snyder’s intent as much as it was just lazy writing. For all of this so-called worldbuilding, Snyder couldn’t be bothered with giving Kora, or any of his protagonists, enough of a personality to make them interesting.

Everyone else in the cast is just wasted. Maybe they get to do more in part 2, but the characters are never given any chance to bond or anything, so why would anyone be invested enough in these characters to see them in part 2? Sir Anthony Hopkins probably got the best deal since he just provides the voice of the robot and the opening narration that happens in place of a text crawl (totally not Star Wars).

Rebel Moon is just a hodgepodge of every movie that Zack Snyder has ever liked that he’s tried to jam together into a single incoherent mess of a film. I could show you individual scenes from each of the worlds they visit and you’d never guess that they were in the same film outside of the slo-mo and Snyder’s love for muted palettes.

I would like to think this would eventually end his career, or, at least, Zack Snyder’s going to run out of studios willing to piss away millions of dollars on his creations. He’s burned Warner Bros. Netflix will surely learn their lesson now.

Maybe Apple will be next?

Regardless, Rebel Moon isn’t worth the two-plus hours to watch, much less however long the “Snyder cut” might be. It certainly isn’t worth watching for part 2, which is the second half of the Magnificent Seven.

You’re probably better off watching one of those, or Star Wars, or hell, even Battle Beyond the Stars than wasting time on this.

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Star Wars Ahsoka: Dave Filoni Came Not To Save Star Wars, But To Bury It

There’s a chance, a slim chance, that maybe Ahsoka will find a way to become a better show before the finale (the first two episodes of its eight episode season are out now), but based on the first couple of episodes, I seriously doubt it.

Much like the other Disney+ Star Wars shows, instead of coming up with an interesting and original adventure for a fan favorite character that maybe explores some new aspect of that character, Lucasfilm took the road they’ve taken with all of the Star Wars properties to date: the lazy road.

Ahsoka isn’t compelling at all; it’s a bland, boring show that strips all personality these characters had in their animated versions, leans heavily on the same tired tropes every other Disney Star Wars property has used, and seems more focused on recreating a live-action version of the Dave Filoni’s Rebels show than anything.

How bad is it? In one of the YouTube video reviews I watched after watching the episodes for myself, someone had another video playing in the background that displayed one-for-one live action sequences of scenes that were already in Rebels.

But, Dave Filoni is going to save Star Wars, you say?

Yeah, no. He’s not. Whatever creative spark he may had that worked in the Clone Wars and, to a lesser extent, the Rebels animated shows has long since run out of mojo.

Star Wars is dead, but that’s not going to stop Disney and Kathleen Kennedy from picking up the body that they murdered in the first place and pulling a “Weekend at Bernie’s” to convince fans there’s still some life in that decaying body.

Sure, it looks like a Star Wars show. They at least had a decent production budget, unlike some of the other series (Obi-Wan, Boba Fett, etc). But there’s just this feeling that something’s… off.

It’s not as bad as Obi-Wan or Boba Fett – which tie for the worst shite Disney Star Wars has cranked out, but it’s not all that great, either.

Part of the problem is that Ahsoka assumes the viewer has seen both the Clone Wars and Rebels animated series. Like, I’m pretty sure that Lucasfilm actually posted a thing on social media with a complete breakdown of what you should have watched/read before starting Ahsoka.

And yet, even that’s not entirely useful because I believe this show takes place several years after the end of Rebels. You can kind of put together some aspect of the relationships (Ahsoka is a Jedi because she has lightsabers. She and Hera and Sabine all clearly have some sort of history, etc). There are hints of things that have happened between characters in between that time, but it’s barely even mentioned.

They could have done a live-action recap of the Rebels show – including showing the entire Rebels cast, what happened to Kanan and Ezra and Thrawn’s role in that show, and where the show basically ended. At least, then, there would have been some introduction to these characters and their history.

If you haven’t seen any of the animated shows, Filoni’s not going to bother to introduce these characters to you. Ahsoka just comes off as “stoic” — she’s supposed to because she’s a Jedi. You can plainly see that because she has lightsabers. But, Ahsoka is NOT a Jedi, and the show doesn’t bother to clarify any of this. Adult Ahsoka is also completely devoid of any personality that she had in the animated shows or even from the Mandalorian.

Hera is general in the New Republic, but you’d never guess that by looking at her. Or else, the New Republic is super casual about their leaders wearing uniforms because she’s wearing the same outfit, complete with the goofy head googles, from the animated show. It’s like Filoni thought the audience would be confused if the one green alien from the show changed her clothes, even though everyone addresses her by name. Okay, they do use her last name a lot “General Sindoula” — (I probably spelled that wrong and I don’t care) — but “real” fans would know her last name.

Actually dressing like a Republic general and flying around in a Republic ship instead of the Ghost (and she doesn’t even fly the Ghost — it’s the little shuttle — oh yeah, the Ghost is the ship that the cast of Rebels flew around in) might have made a difference. In the second episode, she tries to throw her weight around in a scene when the locals tell her some info is classified. When she declares she’s a general in the New Republic, you almost expect the guy she’s talking to, to roll his eyes and respond that if she’s a general, he’s a grand admiral (which actually would have been funnier than what happened next).

Then there’s Sabine. Even though the show is called ‘Ahsoka’ you could easily argue that Sabine is the star of the show. We’re introduced to Sabine in the first episode on Lothal, where most of Rebels took place. The main city is having a big ceremony to honor the end of the war and the rebel leaders who helped make it happen, including Sabine. And, she’s there, at the ceremony, up until they want her to give a speech. At that point, she bails.

The mayor? has to get the new senator to say a few words in her place, then he sends a couple of troops in ships to bring her back. That seems kind of extreme, but whatever. There probably should have been a scene where she made it clear she didn’t want to give a speech, or just not have Sabine at the ceremony at all. Anyway, the “cops” go flying after her as she cruises down the highway to nowhere on a speeder bike, order her to stop and even park a ship to block her way. She refuses, pulls a maneuver to slide under the ship and keeps going. The “cops” decide that this makes her cool, decide to give her a nod and just ignore their orders.

It’s all meant to make Sabine look cool because she doesn’t put up with “the man”, but it really just makes her look like an asshole. It also doesn’t help that Filoni decided that Sabine should look the same way she did in Rebels, so he cast a woman who could easily pass for 15-16. That would be fine if they were doing a live action version of Rebels from the start where I think Sabine was meant to be about 16, and then her behavior could be chalked up to being a teenage brat. But, Ahsoka takes place several years after the end of Rebels where Sabine was probably supposed to be 19 or 20, putting her current age somewhere in her mid to late 20s. Later, she even defies Ahsoka’s orders, because she can, and it’s just not a good look.

Another aspect of it is just this weird juxtaposition of integrating the Rebels show into the “real” Star Wars universe. Sure, it could work, but for reasons, Filoni decided that the animated elements of the show should look no different than their live-action versions. When we get to Lothal, the city looks like a cartoon city even complete with it’s weird “highway” — a single four lane road leading out of the city that’s technically a road to nowhere. There’s a “lothcat” that’s cgi but really doesn’t look any different than it’s animated version.

None of the three main leads are written particularly well, and all of them appear to be told to act with zero emotions. Lucasfilm can’t have these women getting all emotional in Star Wars for “reasons”, even when it’s clear that the topic/moment requires there to be some emotion.

Seriously, the only two characters who even show a hint of emotion are the two droids who are with the main characters, and that’s just sad.

Ray Stevenson makes a pretty imposing bad guy, but he’s only in the show for a couple of scenes. Even then, he’s not even the main baddie. The main baddie is a “Nightsister” – a witch – who wants to find a lost Imperial leader. The sisters are another batch of characters that were either introduced in a novel and/or the Clone Wars cartoon. Stevenson (I’m calling him by his real name because I don’t care enough to look up his character name), also has a female padawan, but she barely has more than a couple of lines of dialogue.

The plot is pretty straightforward up to this point. The bad guys are looking for a map to figure out where the Empire’s last Grand Admiral was banished/sent to? It’s not clear why he was sent off to the ass end of the galaxy, but now that there’s no Vader and no Emperor, the bad guys want to find him so he can rally the fragmented remnants of the Empire and usurp the New Republic before they can establish themselves.

Who’s Thrawn? Thrawn is a fan favorite villain from a series of books published in the 90s by Timothy Zahn. The Heir to the Empire series depicted the rebels trying to organize a new system of government  while the fragments of the Empire tried to rebuild with Han, Leia, Luke and the others in the middle of it all. Disney dumped all of this into the “Extended Universe” with all of the other materials after their acquisition of Lucasfilm in 2012.

At least, until Dave Filoni needed a villain for his animated show Star Wars: Rebels. Then, he pilfered the character for use in his own series. The rumor for Ahsoka is that they’re effectively going to “borrow” most of the plot from the Heir to the Empire books and recycle it in the show, replacing the original Star Wars characters with the Rebels cast.

Of course, whenever there’s a character that needs to be found in Disney Star Wars, there’s a map. And, of course, the map’s not just anywhere. You can’t just look it up or go ask Bob for it. The map has to be hidden in some ancient ruin in some equally ancient artifact that is also locked and can’t simply be opened. Naturally, both the good guys and the bad guys are looking for the map.

The whole map silliness echoes both of the Macguffins from the sequel trilogy (one to find Luke, and then another to find the Emperor). So far, at least it hasn’t completely devolved into the cast finding a thing that requires them to find another thing that leads to yet another thing to unlock the first thing. Not yet, anyway…

That’s basically the plot. The bad guys need to find a dude. To find the dude, they need a map. But, the good guys get the map first. Bad guys take the map from the good guys before they can decipher where the dude’s location is, and now the bad guys know the location and can go get the dude. The good guys want to stop the bad guys from finding the dude, and so off they go.

That’s it. That’s the story. The trailers have already shown glimpses of Thrawn, so he’s going to at least make an appearance.

It also doesn’t help that the episodes are painfully slow. The first episode is nearly an hour long, and it makes you feel every moment of it. Conversations between the main characters take too long. Not because they have a lot to say, but because each time someone says something, they take a long time to say it, and then there’s a long pause before the other person responds.

There are more than a couple of moments where Sabine and Ahsoka are just looking at each other, to the point that you start to wonder if the writers are trying to hint that they were a couple, which was never in any of the shows.

Not surprisingly, as much as Filoni seems obsessed with recreating every visual aspect of Rebels as he can, he doesn’t seem to give a damn about preserving the lore from his own shows.

There’s a LOT of slowly walking to a place. Even the lightsaber fights are tedious. One fight is dragged out because they’re trying to build suspense of hoping that help will arrive (and how the character even knows that the other person is in trouble in the first place makes no sense).

And don’t get me started about lightsabers. Back in my day, if you got stabbed with a lightsaber, you didn’t get back up. That’s all I’m saying.

Even with all of that, there will be plenty of scenes that will immediately remind you of something that you’ve seen before and, more than likely, was done better in other Star Wars films.

Here’s another strange thing. There are several shots that seem to linger on Sabine’s butt. At first, you think, okay, why are there gratuitous butt shots in a Star Wars show. But, then, you realize, it’s not that. They’re doing it because they’re simply too lazy to have a second camera switch to another point of view. Maybe they didn’t want to show Sabine staring off into space, only, she does plenty of that as it is.

Later, after watching some YouTube videos, I learned that at least two of the shots are like that simply because they’re recreating an animated sequence straight out of Rebels.

Another big problem with this show is what’s NOT in the show.

“He Who Must Not Be Named”

Technically, this takes place at some point after the destruction of the second Death Star, Vader and the Emperor. So, at this point in time, the original Star Wars characters are very much alive and kicking. Don’t expect there to be a single mention of them, and especially Luke, hero of the Republic and the last true remaining Jedi. I would also expect the Republic in general to be left out of this, even though technically the return of the last Imperial Grand Admiral could represent an existential threat to the New Republic. Instead, I expect the trio of main characters to go chasing the bad guys on their own.

Die hard Rebels fans and/or Dave Filoni fanboys will probably love every minute of the show. Filoni throws plenty of elements from the animated shows in here. Even so, I can’t imagine even those fans would be all that excited to see their favorite Rebels characters completely neutered from their animated counterparts.

If you never watched the animated series, though, I’m not sure you’ll find much here. There might be something in the later episodes if you’re a fan of the prequels. There are rumors that there may be a couple of flashbacks between Ahsoka and Anakin (oh yeah, spoiler — Ahsoka was Anakin’s padawan during the Clone Wars).

Filoni desperately wants the show to be taken seriously, but at the same time, it clings to its animated roots so much that you can’t take the show seriously at all. It’s certainly no “adult” Star Wars; Filoni doesn’t have the writing chops that Andor creator Tony Gilroy does.

In fact, if you want to see an original take on Star Wars, skip Ahsoka and go watch Andor (who was Andor? Remember Rogue One? Remember that guy with the cool robot sidekick? That’s him. Don’t watch it for him — the larger story is way better).

Or, if you want to learn about Thrawn, skip all of Disney Star Wars and go pick up Timothy Zahn’s Heir to the Empire series. It’s way better than anything Lucasfilm has cranked out in the last decade since Disney took over.

But, if you simply want to watch more bland, boring shite with the Disney Star Wars name attached to it, Ahsoka can fill up a few hours of your time while you reminisce about the good old days when Star Wars was actually good.

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Star Wars: Obi-Wan – A Complete Waste of Time

The day Lucasfilm announced a live-action Obi-Wan series, I, like many Star Wars fans, were incredibly excited about the possibilities of what they could do with the show. Maybe they’ll pick a time during the Clone Wars when he’s a general and fighting, or training under Qui-Gon, or borrow one of the story arcs from the Clone Wars animated series. 


Instead, the creators specifically pick one of the least interesting times of his life; the period where Obi-Wan is hiding in the sands of Tatooine and keeping an eye on the “boy” in order to protect him.

We more or less knew that going in, especially after the trailer. So, okay, maybe the show will be a character study, with Obi-Wan trying to deal with the aftermath of the war, Anakin’s betrayal, the end of the Jedi, etc.

Maybe it won’t suck.

The first two episodes of the show premiered this week on Disney+, and while I didn’t have high hopes for the show after the trailer appeared, I was pretty bored by the end of the second episode. 

It’s so bad that I half hope/wonder if Lucasfilm will pull a Book of Boba Fett and have a couple of episodes where Kenobi isn’t even in them. 

Instead of crafting a series around one of Star Wars favorite heroes, the current stewards of George Lucas’ legacy are dead set on destroying Lucas’ creation. We waited decades to see a live-action Star Wars television series, and now that it’s here, you find yourself wishing they’d just stuck with the animated shows.

That’s not a knock on Ewan McGregor, who does the best he can with what little he’s given. Although you’d think even he’d have concerns with the approach to the character.

It’s not as bad as Fett, which was a complete mess. The first opening sequence was great, if not unfortunate, due to recent real-world events. We then move onto a second opening that introduces the Inquisitors and Reva, the only bad guy with a name, so she’s clearly going to play a major part in the show. Finally, we move onto the third opening, which takes us to Obi-Wan.

Two episodes in, and the show already feels bloated. There are only six episodes, and it still feels like that the whole thing could have been condensed down to a film. There are a couple of good scenes, but those could have been kept in the film. The inquisitors try to be intimidating, but they can’t come close to Darth Vader, who is one of the best villains in sci-fi.

So far, there’s nothing all that interesting to see in Obi-Wan. While they’ve borrowed some of the elements from the animated shows and Dave Filoni, this series is completely in the hands of Kathleen Kennedy. The show runners can’t seem to make up their mind on what they want Obi-Wan to be, and so far, the main antagonist is as one-dimensional as they get. 

Strangely, Disney is already playing the race card on critics of the show before it even aired. If the rumors are true about the show, and based on the first couple of episodes, it seems like there’s a pretty good chance that they are, then fans will not be happy with how the series ends. Disney knows they have a stinker on their hands, and their already preemptively attacking “toxic” fans and blaming them in case the show bombs. 

I can’t really say much beyond that without getting into spoilers. 

I didn’t enjoy it. I’m not even sure I’ll finish the show. 

Besides McGregor, there’s no real reason to watch Obi-Wan. As much as I despise the prequels, I’d say if you really want an Obi-Wan fix, you’d be better off re-watching those films or watching Clone Wars. 

Okay — Spoilers incoming. Don’t read beyond this point if you don’t want the show spoiled.

You’ve been warned!!!

So, yeah, Obi-Wan is a broken man. 

Obi-Wan is plagued with guilt from both the betrayal  and the death of his “brother”, Anakin Skywalker. As we all know, Anakin succumbed to the Dark Side and betrayed his fellow Jedi by joining up with Chancellor Palplatine (aka Darth Sidious aka the Emperor). Anakin led the attack on the Jedi temple and killed both Jedi AND younglings. With Anakin at his side, Sidious was able to defeat the Jedi and take over as Emperor. 

Part of this feels deliberate; the current stewards of Star Wars (Kathleen Kennedy and her minions) are dead set on destroying any of the heroes from the original films. So, once again, we’re presented with a broken hero (arguably, over anyone, Obi-Wan has more reason to be broken than anyone else in Star Wars at this point in the timeline). 

Not that this is a bad thing; the show could have built an interesting story about Obi-Wan struggling to deal with his anguish of how things turned out and his duty to protect Luke.

But, no, Obi-Wan has abandoned his Jedi training, even hiding and backing down when there’s potentially bad things happening. Yet, he still clings to the duty that he’s to protect Luke and train him when the time comes. He’s treated like he’s a complete amateur when it comes to fighting and using the Force, and  he also seems to keep himself oblivious to the world around him. 

It all feels out of character for Kenobi. Even if he’s torn with guilt, his sense of duty to protect Luke would motivate him to keep up with his Jedi training and to be keenly aware of any threats that may head their way. He would know that he would need to be ready, and even after 10 years, he’s spent a lifetime training and fighting as a Jedi. He might get rusty, but the skills are still going to be there.

There are a couple of scenes that reinforce this idea that Obi-Wan, now Ben, is in hiding and will not risk revealing himself, even if it puts others at risk. A young Jedi is loose on Tatooine,  and he somehow recognizes Obi-Wan and pursues him out into the desert. Ben tells him the Jedi are dead and that the Jedi should bury his lightsaber out in the sand and hide. 

Then, Ben has a confrontation with Owen Lars, Luke’s uncle, and despite his anguish, insists that Luke should be trained (this is the great “like you trained his father” moment from the trailer). Owen is later confronted by Reva and the inquisitors while Ben hides in the shadows and does absolutely nothing while Owen faces off against them. Not only is Obi-Wan broken, but he’s now a coward. He defies the logic of the inquisitors, who tell us that “the Jedi hunt themselves” because they will always help someone in need even if it means putting themselves at risk.

But, the show doesn’t open with Obi-Wan. Instead, it opens back at the Jedi temple. We’re shown a group of younglings training with their master at the moment Order 66 is executed. It’s not clear, but it’s a safe assumption that Reva is one of the younglings. They have to watch as their master tries to save them from the clone troopers and ultimately sacrifices herself to protect them. 

Reva, strangely, seems to be obsessed with capturing Obi-Wan. It’s not clear why, but she’s obsessed to the point of completely ignoring the chain of command. The show could have tried to work this into a subplot, where maybe Vader shows favoritism to the inquisitors in a way to keep them motivated and to create a cutthroat level of competition between them, including the High Inquisitor. But, so far, the show doesn’t explain it. It just sticks with making Reva as unlikeable as possible with no explanation.

Speaking of unlikeable, the show does the same with young Leia. She’s a precocious 10-year-old, and the show tries to make her some kind of child prodigy. She’s taunted by a cousin, but she comes back with a long and bitter retort with a sense of perception and intuition that would make Sherlock Holmes jealous. 

But, even this doesn’t hold up, because when the plot needs her to be, she’s completely clueless, like when she runs right up to the kidnappers.

The entire Leia kidnapping subplot makes no sense. Bail Organa is well aware of Leia’s parentage; he and his wife are very public figures and appear to have Leia in public as well. So, it makes no sense that Organa has done nothing to keep his daughter safe. It seems like Leia would have been taught some awareness that there could be individuals in the galaxy who would do harm to herself and/or her family.

Reva hires thugs kidnap Leia. She somehow knows about the relationship between Organa and Kenobi. Reva also seems to  know that despite Organa’s wealth and resources, he’ll go to Kenobi for help. She expects Kenobi, being the Jedi that he is, to agree and ultimately fall into her trap. She also expects that her thugs will have no problems capturing a Jedi Master and General of the Republic. 

And this is where the show begins to fall apart. There’s an absurd scene where Leia manages to elude the kidnappers for several minutes. Organa, as predicted, reaches out to Kenobi, but he refuses. So, Organa shows up on Tatooine at Kenobi’s cave (if Reva had been so smart, she should have just tailed Organa  and would have been taken right to Kenobi). 

Kenobi initially refuses again, but then, he sees the young Jedi he encountered “hanging” in town (in a totally safe PG-13 way), and he changes his mind.

 Instead of discreetly transporting Kenobi to the planet where Organa has trapped the kidnappers, he lets Kenobi board a public transport ship carrying a lightsaber. Regardless of how clueless Kenobi might be about the Inquisitors, Organa would absolutely be aware of them and that both they and Vader have been searching for Jedi, especially Kenobi. So, it seems pretty dumb that Organa wouldn’t help Kenobi stay undercover because if he’s exposed trying to save Leia, it’s going to put Leia in even greater danger. 

But, nope, it’ll be fine. Kenobi goes to the planet, and despite keeping his cover about half the time, nobody seems to know him. He runs into a fake Jedi, and convinces him to show Kenobi where the kidnappers are. 

The fake Jedi guy is just odd. Sure, maybe this is still in the outer rim, but what idiot would run around pretending to be a Jedi when there are inquisitors, not to mention Vader himself, running around hunting and killing Jedi?

Kenobi finds “Leia” and springs the trap, where Reva’s thugs easily overtake him. But, luckily, Kenobi has an ace up his sleeve and escapes the kidnappers. Then, magically, he finds the real Leia. Does he use the Force? The show needs him to find Leia, so he does.

The writers could have played up that Bail told Leia stories about the Jedi and his friend Obi-Wan. She could have taunted “Ben” with “you don’t look like a Jedi” and be stubbornly unconvinced of his true nature based on her father’s stories. Instead, after seeing his lightsaber, she wants Kenobi to “make me float.”

And then, things get silly. The inquisitors arrive, and while the others are on the ground, Reva takes to the rooftops, for reasons. She also spreads the word to the criminal element of the town that Obi-Wan is there and puts a bounty on him. Kenobi and Leia discover this, and Leia, suddenly decides that the guy who is trying to rescue her must be one of the bad guys and runs off. 

So, once again, we get a ridiculous chase scene where a 10-year-old girl easily outruns an adult, a Jedi no less, and Kenobi runs around without any cover, so anyone can see who he is. Leia tries to jump across a wide gap between buildings and falls. Kenobi has to use the Force to save her, and the show makes it clear he struggles to access his power and barely saves her in time. Again, the show wants Kenobi to have abandoned a lifetime of training and is now, somehow, a complete novice in using the Force.  

Fake Jedi shows up and decides he’s going to help Kenobi and the girl rather than turn them in. He assures Kenobi out there that there are people willing to help the Jedi; he gives them a location to an automated transport that will get them off-world.

But, Reva, using all of her Inquisitor parkour skills, catches up to them. While they hide, she boasts to Kenobi the big, dramatic reveal of the second episode: Your boy Anakin is alive, and he’s Darth Vader. Obi-Wan is shocked, SHOCKED, to learn this.

I call bullshit. Kenobi saw the security footage in Episode III. He knows Anakin turned to the dark side. Even if he thought he’d killed Anakin on Mustafar, Kenobi should be able to sense whether Anakin truly died. Even if he didn’t, it’s hard to imagine Kenobi never heard anything about Darth Vader, the Emperor’s right hand man, and would have been able to put two and two together. 


If Kenobi’s duty is to stay on Tatooine and protect Luke, then you’d think that Kenobi would at least try to keep up with was going on in the galaxy. He’d want to keep himself aware of any pending threats that could come their way rather than just be blissfully ignorant of everything. 

Then again, how does Reva know this? Vader’s true identity is a massive secret, and both Vader and the Emperor have killed to protect that secret. So, why does she know? How is she not dead?

Anyway, the High Inquisitor shows up and challenges Reva. When she reveals that she has Kenobi trapped, he decides he’ll take Kenobi down himself and take all of the credit for finding him. So, Reva kills the High Inquisitor like a chump. 

This gives Kenobi time to hop on board the transport, and he and Leia escape while Reva impotently screams at the parting ship.

While he’s on the ship, Kenobi does something weird. He reaches out with the Force and says “Anakin”, and we cut to Vader opening his eyes in his meditation chamber. 

And… that’s it. 

Obviously, now Kenobi has made Vader aware that he’s very much alive, it seems like the show will likely lead to a confrontation between Vader and Kenobi. 

Will there be a fight? Maybe. If there is, the show is going to make sure Kenobi gets his ass handed to him, but somehow, he’ll be able to get away, and Vader will let him.

Speaking of, it’s hard to say if the show will bother to explain how Reva has all of this hidden knowledge and/or her obsession for Kenobi. Does she blame him for Order 66? Did she encounter him in the temple, and did he leave her? Is there some relationship between her and Vader, and she’s obsessed with Kenobi out of her desire to prove herself to Vader?

In the end, though, I suspect that the rumors about the show may be true. Instead of Obi-Wan being able to defend himself against Vader and successfully protecting the lives of Luke and Leia, he’ll fail. Then, for reasons, Reva will have a “moment”, and may discover (or already knows, since she knows everything else) who Luke and/or Leia are, and possibly what their future holds, and it will be her, not Kenobi, that saves the day. 

Reva will get a redemption arc that will end at the end of Vader’s lightsaber.

(Update: I’ve seen the third episode, and well, the episode was pretty trash. Obi-Wan gets to face off with Vader, and he gets his ass handed to him. They’re already dropping hints that Reva is having “doubts” about being an inquisitor but at the same time is sucking up to Vader. There’s no consistency. I’m now betting that Leia will somehow use her 10-year-old genius intellect to convince Reva to switch sides.)

Kenobi will then slink back to his cave on Tatooine, and for “reasons”, Vader will not be able to track him.  He’ll still be broken, and he may even be worse off knowing that when the time came, he failed in protecting those he was supposed to protect. 

And that’s exactly where Kathleen Kennedy wants hm to be.  Once again, the current creators of Star Wars are hellbent on destroying everything came that before because they want people to like their new creations. The problem, though, is that they’re completely unable to develop anything new that generates the same magic that caught the imagination of fans for the last 40ish years. The sequels were a joke. The Book of Boba Fett was a disaster. 

Only the Mandalorian, with Dave Filoni and Jon Favreau, have even remotely come close to creating a true live-action Star Wars series that’s enjoyable to watch. 

Star Wars and Obi-Wan deserve better.

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The Matrix: Resurrections — Another worthless sequel

I was intrigued after the first trailer dropped for the Matrix: Resurrections, but I was also a bit concerned.  As much as I liked the idea of returning to the lore of the Matrix, after re-watching the original and its both needless and horrible sequels, I really felt like Warner Bros. should just leave it well enough alone. 

But, Warner Bros. is a company that will do anything to squeeze every last dollar it can from the IP it owns, so Matrix 4 was inevitably going to happen. 

If you’ve never watched the Matrix films, I’ll spare you. Resurrections assumes that you’ve seen the previous trilogy, so you’re better off taking a pass here. If you’re even remotely interested in the Matrix, watch the original 1999 film and stop there. 

TL:DR – The Matrix Resurrections desperately wants to revive not only its main characters but the franchise as well, and although it touches on a few new ideas, it ultimately devolves into a low-rent re-hash of the original film. While some people may enjoy it, I was disappointed that they couldn’t figure out how to build a good story with the lore they had. I left the theater feeling like Resurrections was nothing more than a blatant cash grab by Warner Bros., and much like the previous two sequels, it probably shouldn’t have been made. 

I can’t go into much more detail without spoiling the original trilogy. I won’t spoil Matrix 4, but I will refer to the original film, so you’ve been warned.

Obviously, as we’ve seen from the trailers, Neo appears to be a) alive and b) back in the Matrix. Trinity is there as well, and she and Neo clearly don’t know one another. 

The first act has a bit cute and/or cringey meta to it. Keanu Reeves is now back as Thomas Anderson aka Neo, and he’s now a super-rich world-famous game designer who’s responsible for creating a mind blowing series of video games called — the Matrix. Tommy boy is also considered to be a bit crazy as he seems to have trouble keeping the “real” world separated from his video game universe. Regardless, his corporate overlords have decided it’s time to make another Matrix game, and they’re willing to do it with or without Anderson’s company.

(Apparently, this is true. Warner was already considering various treatments for a Matrix sequel without the Wachowskis before Lana Wachowski approached them)

A new cast of characters discovers that Thomas/Neo is alive and in the Matrix, so much of the first half of the film revolves around rescuing him (again) , teaching him about the Matrix (again) and showing him the real world (again). 

They literally show Neo clips from the original films, which represent the “games” he created to remind him about the Matrix.

There are a couple of new twists this time around, and a couple of interesting items are briefly introduced into the lore (both of which would have made better films) and quickly forgotten. Overall, though, the story simply dissolves into a bit of a re-hash of the first film. There’s some fan service as they bring in other characters from the previous films to either help or hinder the story. The new cast of characters is pretty forgettable, and even Neo is mostly just along for the ride.

In a way, Resurrections suffers from the same problem as The Force Awakens. As much as Warner wanted to milk another trilogy out of the Matrix, it feels like they didn’t have enough confidence that they could. So, instead of taking the time to plan out a well thought out three-film arc, they just went with a “safer” story meant to refresh the memories of fans. I guess they figured they’d just tack on more movies if Matrix 4 makes enough money. 

I think there’s enough lore there, and they introduced some decent ideas in Resurrections that they could have built a new trilogy around, but I don’t think Lana Wachowski was the one to do it. I think they really needed a fresh set of eyes.

Honestly, I think they should have just gone with a clean reboot. If you had to put Keanu in the film, give him a mentor role and build a good story that allows Neo to hand things off to a new cast.

Everything in the film just feels — worse. Gunfights aren’t as well put together as the bad guys now shoot like stormtroopers. The fight choreography, which was one of the standout features of the films, is also lackluster. Based on how hard Keanu trains for the John Wick films, it seems like he’s certainly still capable of doing the scenes. Maybe he had a scheduling-conflict or they couldn’t hire a good group of fight choreographers? Regardless, the fights are not up to the level of the other films. 

And, if you’re a fan of the film, you’re likely going to have questions, like: why would the machines resurrect Neo, who represented a major threat to their existence, in the first place? Why bring Trinity back? Why bring any of the bad guys back? Why stick them into a Matrix? What happened to the “peace”? Why, why, why… 

Not to worry, the film is going to do its best to barely answer almost none of those questions. Seriously.

Some popular characters are back, but with new faces. Even though Yahya Abdul-Mateen II adds some new personality into Morpheus, he’s no Lawrence Fishburne.  Agent Smith is also back, for reasons. Jonathan Groff does channel a bit of the original Smith, he just doesn’t project the same level of menace that Hugo Weaving did.  Really, all of the bad guys, though they’re great actors, feel miscast because none of them really feel like a threat at any point in the story. Most of that is simply because the writing is just that bad.

The film is mostly watchable, but it’s a bit long. It grinds to a screeching halt for long stretches before ramping up again for the next action sequence. The climax is a bit predictable, but there’s a decent action near the end. 

There are at least a couple of places where Keanu is put into a situation and he literally says “I remember this.” 

No shit, man. We remember it, too, from a much better film. 

The original Matrix was a fresh sci-fi story with groundbreaking special effects at a time, even 20 years ago, when Hollywood was already losing interest in taking chances on original material and banking more on established franchises with built-in audiences. 

The Matrix never needed a sequel, and yet, it now has three of them. After watching all of the films, I still don’t know why they bothered with any of them (beyond the obvious money grab).

If you’re really itching for a Matrix fix, go back and watch the original film and skip all of the sequels.

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Thoughts on the Last Jedi

With the holidays, it’s taken me a while to get this down. To date, I’ve still only seen The Last Jedi once, so this is still based on my first take of the film. Maybe I’ll post an update after a couple of more viewings. 

First, the non-spoilers review:

Unlike The Force Awakens (TFA), Lucasfilm creators appear to have given director Rian Johnson much more creative control over The Last Jedi (TLJ), and in a lot of ways, The Last Jedi is what The Force Awakens should have been: a fresh take on the Star Wars franchise without George Lucas at the helm.

The Last Jedi isn’t without its flaws, but overall, with the exception of the lag about midway through the film and maybe just a tad too many attempts at humor, Rian Johnson delivers on giving us a fresh take on the Star Wars universe that’s both visually stunning and entertaining. 

After reading some of the complaints on the internet, I suspect The Last Jedi will become one of the most polarizing films among fans, who seem to be equally divided between loving it and hating it. I don’t think there’s one right answer, and it’s impossible to look at the new movies with the same childlike wonder that I watched the original trilogy (which naturally biases me towards those three movies).

I watched The Force Awakens last weekend, and I despise it more than I did before, mainly because of the complete rehash of A New Hope (the original Star Wars). I’d rank it just above the prequels. I’d probably place The Last Jedi just behind the original trilogy. 

!!!END OF SPOILER FREE REVIEW!!!

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

If you’re reading this far you’ve been warned. Spoilers will be rampant in 3…2…1…

TURN BACK IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST JEDI!!!

SPOILERS BEGIN NOW!!!

There’s plenty to like about The Last Jedi. Here’s a decent list of things that I enjoyed:

  • I like that they tried to give the three major characters story arcs, even if the arcs were not complete hits. 
  • I loved some of the humor – The “do you feel it now” scene with Rey and Luke still cracks me up just thinking about it. 
  • I like that the ending illustrated that “spark of hope” for the rebellion even though they’re at their lowest point by the end of the film.
  • Mark Hamill was amazing and did an enormous job of portraying Luke’s guilt and hesitation in training Rey
  • I loved the fight between Luke and Rey
  • I loved the appearance of Yoda
  • I actually like that the story didn’t follow the conventional Star Wars formula
  • I liked the new twists on Force abilities and the connection between Rey and Kylo
  • I liked that despite everything the rivalry between Kylo and Hux is ongoing, which could have major repercussions for the First Order
  • Despite the twist, I actually really enjoyed the final conflict between Luke and Kylo.
  • The “chase” sequence – Although the set up was kind of dumb, I liked where they were going with it. 
    • My take on this whole thing is that, yes, the First Order could have guessed where the ships were heading and radioed ahead to have other ships fly in to intercept the Rebel ships. But, I think the idea was Hux is a major asshole, and, knowing the Rebels were out of options, wanted to simply drag things out. He’s like a cat playing with its prey. 
  • The reunion scene with Luke and Leia. It was hard not to tear up, especially with the meta of Carrie Fisher’s death and knowing that she and Mark Hamill treated each other like brother and sister in real life.

As I’ve said, the movie is not without its flaws. Here’s my list:

I loved some of the humor, but in other places, it felt forced or awkward. Unlike Thor: Ragnarok, I think maybe they strayed a bit too far down the humor trail in TLJ.

Porgs. Meh. I just want a picture of Chewie with that one on the skewer with the caption: Porg: It’s What’s for Dinner.

The “Epic” Chase

I think this could have been set up better. I don’t think they explained why there wasn’t a tracker on one of the resistance ships. The set up was the First Order has tech that can track ships through hyperspace. The first response in the Star Wars universe should have been: Oh, they’ve got a tracker on one of the ships. Instead the characters quickly jump into a convoluted plot to “hack” the main First Order’s ship’s shields into order to slip on board and disable the tracker from that ship. 

The “tracker” story could have been interesting in its own right. If they found a tracker, then there could be a mole on one of the ships. That could have fed into Poe’s distrust of Holdo, eventually suspecting that she may be the mole.

Plus, no one on the First Order ships asks the obvious question: Why not bring in other ships to intercept the fleeing Resistance ships and shoot them all down in a crossfire. The answer, I think, is that Hux is a major asshole, and being such, opts to simply slowly continue the slow pursuit. He knows full well that the Resistance ships can’t run forever, so he wants to make his final victory last. 

A simple conversation between Hux and a junior officer could have made that clear. 

The awkward setup sticks out because this is basically the end of Act I, and the chase  is what triggers everyone else’s actions from this point, from Holdo’s secret plan to Poe/Finn/Rose’s ridiculous plan. 

The “WTF” Moment

This is the moment that made no sense to me, and it sucks because I don’t see an easy way to fix it. The hacker DJ sells out not only Finn and Rose but the Resistance as well by telling the First Order the good guys have cloaked? transports. Holdo was keeping this info on a need to know basis. She didn’t tell Poe, which drives Poe’s arc, and it drives the need for Finn/Rose to go off on their adventure. If Finn/Rose don’t know about this plan, how the hell does DJ know?

Again, it’s a problem because it sets everything up for the third act. It’s just sloppy storytelling. 

Leia Innnn Spaaaace 

For me, I really agonized about this. My first thought when this started to play out was “Oh come on!” On the one hand, I thought it was over the top, but on the other hand, I really liked seeing Leia, at the moment of nearly dying, finally connecting with the Force and saving herself. I didn’t want to see Leia go out that way, so I’m going to let it pass.

Canto Bight 

It bites. Really. I liked some of the ideas Rian Johnson introduced here, that there are people who are profiting from the war and there are people/creatures suffering because of it. It feels too much though like “let’s give Finn & Rose something to do.” It bogs down the movie and really messes with the story timeline as well. The resistance ships have mere hours before they run out of fuel, but it’s fine that Finn/Rose go off on their marry adventure. Since this introduces DJ, but Finn and Rose ultimately fail to stop the First Order, this entire arc feels out of place. 

Luke’s Bad Decision

A lot of fans are upset about Luke deciding, if only briefly, that he’s lost Ben to Snoke, and he should kill Ben while he has the chance. I agree with argument that the “Luke we knew” probably wouldn’t go there. He wouldn’t give up on Ben. 

But – the “Luke we knew” was from Return of the Jedi. At the point this happens in TLJ, we’re watching a Luke Skywalker 20 plus years after ROTJ. We don’t know what’s happened to him in that time. Luke having doubts about losing influence over Ben and ultimately being betrayed by him is the beginning of the end for Luke. 

It’s that moment that consumes Luke with fear and doubt and guilt that drives him away from everyone he loves and places him in isolation on Ach-To. 

It’s a hard moment to see. To me, it’s much like finding Han basically running from Leia and going back to smuggling in TFA.

These characters were our heroes in the original trilogy, and it’s hard to see them 30 years later to find out that they’re human after all. 

At the same time though, these movies are also about passing the torch to a new generation of characters that have will bring with them a new legion of fans to the Star Wars universe. 

I hope, though, that Lucasfilm allows someone to publish a novel or two that further explores the adventures of Luke and Ben/Kylo and their relationship, including Ben’s eventual betrayal.

I was also a bit disappointed that the Knights of Ren were a no-show.

Luke’s Last Stand

I have to see the movie again, but I don’t know if they really explained why Luke’s projection was a one-time deal. I read somewhere that Kylo says something about this, but I missed it. Outside of that, I fully expect to see a Luke ghost both helping Rey and (hopefully) taunting Kylo.

Poe’s Arc

I really liked Poe’s arc for the most part. I didn’t mind that he’s left out in the cold by Holdo. I wished there was a moment of reckoning after the mutiny between Poe and Leia. I liked that he’s learning in the battle of Krait that maybe there’s a time to back off and not sacrifice forces. The problem, though, is at this point of the movie, there is no Plan B. This is a “last stand” moment, and Poe should have been all for helping Finn sacrifice himself in order to help buy them time.

Finn’s Arc

Again, Finn had a pretty decent story arc, but it felt cheated at the end because Rose kept him from making a heroic sacrifice. I would have liked to see him eject at the last second or something where he’s able to survive but still succeed in destroying the weapon. Let’s say the ship hits the weapon but doesn’t destroy it; at least it still completes Finn’s arc and it adds to his own mythology. 

Rey’s Arc 

I’m more bummed that we didn’t see Rey get more training than I am about her parents. Sure, Kylo could be lying, but I don’t think any of the other “theories” would have been better. If she’s Luke’s daughter, then we turn Luke into a deadbeat dad. Same with her being a Solo. Making her related to Obi Wan or Palpatine would only be interesting because it ties her to characters in the other movies. 

Hey, at least they skipped the “immaculate conception” this time. Making her parents irrelevant opens up the idea that anyone could be Force sensitive and evolve into a Jedi or Sith (or something else). I’m okay with that. 

Rey, though, has had less training than Luke did, and that may or may not be a bad thing. She may? have the Jedi Order books, but I think the main point is that because she’s not completely indoctrinated in either the Sith or the Jedi, Rey may ultimately become something else – a person truly balanced between the light and the dark.

Not Enough Snoke

Alas, poor Snoke, we hardly knew ye.

Maybe this will be covered in a novel, but it’s a shame that for all his power, Snoke doesn’t get enough screen time, so his eventual death feels a bit meaningless. The final confrontation between Rey, Kylo and Snoke kind of echoes Return of the Jedi, but it feels off. By the time the scene happens in ROTJ, Luke has faced Vader once, and he’s come to terms with the fact that Vader is his father. The stakes are much higher there because of the connection between Luke and Vader. The Emperor still wants to turn Luke, and catching his friends in a trap with the new Death Star, he hopes to push Luke to the dark side. 

In TLJ, Rey senses Kylo’s conflict, and like Luke with Vader, hopes to lure him back into the light. We know Snoke wants to kill Luke, but it’s never clear why. He also doesn’t seem to be as interested in converting Rey, who, with little training, should be susceptible to Snoke’s influence, just as Ben was. 

Snoke has also created a trap, but he seems to be singularly focused on killing Skywalker. Although the twist here is great, Snoke’s death doesn’t have the same impact as the Emperor’s.

I can’t place my finger on it. Maybe seeing it again will help. I like the overall sequence of events here, but it seemed to lack the same emotional impact as ROTJ.

Too Many Woman

Ugh, the dumbest thing I’ve seen in the last week or so is the political “far right” having fits about too many women in positions of power in TLJ. I honestly thought it was great to see more than one strong female character in these movies, and I think the “far right” can just crawl back under their rocks. 

Moving On 

We will always have the original trilogy of movies, and the memories of seeing those and playing with the toys and reading all of the theories about how Vader could be Luke’s father will not simply disappear because we may or may not like the direction the new films are going in. 

Note, that does NOT include the prequels, which were bad on so many levels. They didn’t destroy my childhood, but I don’t have to bother to watch them, either.

While it has its flaws, I have to give props to Rian Johnson and the Lucasfilm folks for taking chances with The Last Jedi. They’ve opened up some new ideas about what it means to be a Force-wielder (either Jedi or Sith), and they’re trying to take the world of Star Wars into new directions. The Skywalker saga is ending, but the Star Wars universe will be stronger than ever.

I only wish they had started this with The Force Awakens, because there’s so much crammed into The Last Jedi, I almost wish they had made two movies (or had simply introduced some of these things in TFA). 

My biggest worry at this point is whether or not JJ Abrams will be open to the direction that TLJ has gone, or will he backtrack and turn Episode IX into a re-hash of Return of the Jedi. 

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The Martian

TLDR: Go see it! Then, go buy the book, and read it!

I’ve seen a couple of reviews compare the Martian to Cast Away, and although the premise may be similar, the comparison doesn’t really do the story justice.

Based on Andy Weir’s first novel, the movie tells the story of Mark Watney. Watney is part of a series of manned missions to Mars called Ares, but when a massive storm forces the team of astronauts to abort their mission and leave the planet, Watney is struck by debris and tossed out of sight of the others. The electronics in his suit fail, making the others assume the worst. Because of the risk to their own lives, they have no other choice but to leave Mars, assuming that Watney died on the surface.

Only, (spoilers!), he didn’t die. Watney survived, but now he’s the only man on Mars, with no communications, 50 million miles away from Earth, and the next manned mission to the planet won’t arrive for another four years.

The movie is both a story of survival as Watney tries to solve the problems he’s facing on the desolate Martian landscape as well as the drama faced by both NASA and the other members of the Ares crew learn that Watney is alive and was left behind on Mars and struggle to find a way to rescue him.

Matt Damon is perfectly cast as Watney, and he does an amazing job in portraying both the humor and the emotional roller coaster Watney experiences as he fights to endure on Mars. The film balances everything well between both Mars and Earth, so viewers aren’t simply watching one man struggle to survive. They do a great job of handling the problem-solving scenes, setting up the problem, then watching as Watney or Watney and NASA work through the task at hand.

The cinematography of the vast, wide shots of the Martian landscape are gorgeous even though they serve to remind us of just how isolated Watney is.

Despite the smooth pacing of most of the movie, the film feels a bit rushed towards the end – as if someone was trying to keep the film from stretching out for three hours (which it may have if they didn’t speed things up). A couple of tense scenes from the end of the book are lost here, but it doesn’t detract from the overall story. As it is, the film clocks in at 2:14.

My only quibbles about the film are that the film ignores the fact that in the book Watney is both a mechanical engineer and a botanist. I always felt his expertise in both disciplines helped the character to survive. The film also leaves out some of the best lines from the book (which is why you should really read the book, too)

The movie is a very tense but enjoyable experience. Be forewarned, if you’re someone who gets emotional watching films, you may want to bring some tissues.

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Star Trek: Into Darkness Review

The challenge with saying anything about Star Trek Into Darkness is to say anything about it without giving away any spoilers. 

Overall, I think if you look at the movie with the re-boot of the series in 2009, Into Darkness is a great summer action movie. The movies capture the spirit of the characters in the original series and re-creates the dynamics (and creates some new ones) between the main characters.

It was cool to see Uhura get something to do in the movie, but it would be nice to see a woman with more of a commanding role in one of these films. I think it would be fun to have Kirk have to deal with a female captain that’s almost a mirror reflection of himself. 

Benedict Cumberbatch was a great addition to the movie cast as well. I thought he was excellent in the BBC’s recent Sherlock series, and he’s a great presence in this movie. 

The story, though, is still part of the re-boot, and this one focuses on building the friendship between Kirk and Spock. It also calls to question whether Kirk is really ready for the responsibility of “the chair” – being captain of Starfleet’s flagship vessel. 

Although fascinating, seeing the “origin” part of that story between Kirk and Spock is a bit hard to imagine. If you’ve been any fan of the Star Trek series at all, these characters and their relationships have long been established in our heads. 

Yes, the movie has a few glitches (technical and story-wise) and one scene you may either really enjoy or find super cringeworthy (I fell into the latter group). For the most part, they aren’t a major distraction to the overall story.

Die-hard Trek fans may pick apart aspects of the story and the technology with regards to how things don’t fit in with the original canon. I can easily understand how that can be disturbing to fans. I used to watch Smallville and had to spend a lot of time just shaking my head as the show’s producers played drastically fast and loose with Superman’s canon. 

If there’s one nagging thing that still bugs me in these new Trek films is all the freakin’ lens flare. To heck with 3D or IMAX or whatever, let me pay for a version of the movie with 70% less flare. 

But, here’s the interesting perspective that I read about – and it may or may not help you going into the movie.

Remember – this is a continuation of the 2009 re-boot of the Star Trek movie universe. That movie involved a time-travel plot, and because of the actions in the first movie, the timeline for this version of Star Trek has and will continue to change as repercussions from elements of history changing in the previous movie.

Basically – This ain’t your father’s Star Trek. It’s hard, but try to set aside the history  from the original TV series and original movies before you see Into Darkness.

I didn’t do that, and it kind of affected my perspective on the movie.

I’ll have to go see it again with that in mind now to see if I enjoy the movie more with that in mind.

Bottom line. Give Into Darkness a chance. It’s a very entertaining movie.