Daily Archives: September 1, 2008

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John McCain Thinks You’re Stupid

After Friday’s announcement of John McCain’s choice as his Vice Presidential candidate, one question was on the lips of everyone.

Sarah Who?

While the media has spent the weekend scrambling to dig up everything about Sarah Palin, and the Democrats have been quick to respond, don’t be so sure the election is in the bag.

A lot of people are wondering, Sarah Palin? Really? What are the Republicans thinking? Are they even trying to win?

They’re thinking: they want to win. And, I believe their entire strategy is banking on the idea that the American people are stupid enough to get them there.

Sure, they’re banking on a couple of other groups as well. There’s the group of women voters who are so bitter about Hillary not getting the nomination they’ll vote for anyone who has a woman on their ticket. They don’t even care that Palin is probably against most of the issues they care about.

There are also, sadly, in this day and age, others who won’t vote for Obama simply because of his color.

With Palin, the Republicans give up the experience argument that they’ve had success with against Obama. But, they still have their main weapon. The weapon that helped them win the last election.

Fear.

That’s the GOP strategy. They’re going to make you afraid of change. They’re going to make you afraid of Obmaa. They’re going to try make look McCain/Palin look cute and cuddly next to the evil Obama/Biden ticket, and they’re banking that most of you (well, at least 51% of you) will buy into it.

Ignore that McCain isn’t in touch with the middle class. We’ve got the “hockey mom” raising five kids. She understands your pain. She’s living the American dream, and she has chosen to serve her country through public service. She’s the nice lady who lives next door.

But what about Bush? They won’t talk about Bush. If they do, they’ll say one thing. Bush was right. He was right in going to Afghanistan. He was right in going to Iraq. And he’s right in keeping us there.

But, if Obama is elected, the Republicans will say that he’ll pull us out of Iraq before the mission is complete. This will only embolden the terrorists in Iraq. It will encourage the other terrorist countries, such as Iran. They will come after us again, and we’ll have another 9/11 on our hands. Obama won’t have the experience to deal with it.

But, McCain was a vet. He served in the war, just like your grandpa did. He was a POW. He won’t back down from the terrorists.

And it’s not just the terrorists. Remember the Russians? Those wacky commie bastards are trying to stir things up again.

If Obama is elected, the Republicans will say the Russians will stir things up even more because they won’t be afraid of him.

But they won’t mess with Grandpa John. He knows how to deal with the Russkies.

What about the economy?

Oh, don’t worry about it, the GOP will say. The economy will work itself out. In fact, things are already starting to look up. The economy is like a wave; it has highs and lows. We’ve been riding a low point in the wave, but it’s on the rise again. In fact, the Republicans may even try to convince you that the low wave we’re now “rebounding” from is the result of economic policies passed by the Clinton administration over 8 years ago.

What about health care? Jobs?

Have faith in the market, they’ll say. The market will fix the job situation. The market will fix health care. Sure, those big corporations are out to make a buck, but at the end of the day they’re just normal people trying to support their families. Have faith that they’ll fix health costs and make them more reasonable.

But, if Obama is elected, he’s going to interfere with the market. He’s going to make everyone pay for a health care system. It’s going to raise your taxes. It’s going to be like Communist Russia. It will take forever to see a doctor, and chances are you won’t even get the right treatment.

See? The Democrats want to change things, but nothing is broken.
The Republicans will try to convince you to hold the line. We’ve almost weathered the storm, and if we stay the course, things will magically work out.

But, those bad bad Democrats, with Osama, I mean, Obama, (oh yeah, you really think the GOP won’t try that?) want to change the course, and they’ll steer us into the rocks. Remember the last two charismatic Democratic presidents? What did they do? One is remembered for messing around with his intern, and that other one almost started World War III.

Change is bad. Obama is for change. Therefore, Obama is bad.

Trust us. Have faith in us. We’re the GOP. G-O-P, after all, is one letter away from G-O-D.

Besides, would you really vote against your Grandpa John and the soccer mom next door?

I would.